Recently I posted a picture of myself and a beautiful bouquet of flowers,,,,It was one of those special moments in our marriage. I had been feeling pressured with an unending to do list and preparing for a missions trip. I was sharing with Tony how stressed I was before leaving to have a quick dinner with Vickie. When I returned home, Tony suprised me with this beautiful bouquet. He just wanted to bless and encourage me. Yes, he's sweet and thoughtful and let me just put it out there once and for all, HE IS ALL MINE :) I was surprised by the number of people who liked the post. I suppose many are "curious" what a pastor's marriage look like...is it perfect? Is it easier because both of us are pastors? I thought I share a few pictures and thoughts on the subject.
Firstly, our marriage is not perfect - it's just like yours - there are always up and downs, the good and the bad, the happy and the sad, the sweet and sour! In many ways, a ministers' marriage is more difficult because often times we live in a fishbowl and there is a lot more pressure to be the model husband and wife. Other than that, I think our marriage is just like any other marriages.
Secondly, we work on our marriage all the time - we choose to invest in our marriage regularly whether it is a quick kiss, an apology when needed, doing something unexpected for the other, like Tony did for me with the flowers, praying for each other, texting each other silly emojis, having a coffee date, etc. We intentionally do this, so much so that it is now a habit - a good one at that :)
Thirdly, the Lod's workings in our own lives as individuals, growing us and maturing as His children. Our own personal walk with the Lord sweetens our marriage.
Secondly, we work on our marriage all the time - we choose to invest in our marriage regularly whether it is a quick kiss, an apology when needed, doing something unexpected for the other, like Tony did for me with the flowers, praying for each other, texting each other silly emojis, having a coffee date, etc. We intentionally do this, so much so that it is now a habit - a good one at that :)
Thirdly, the Lod's workings in our own lives as individuals, growing us and maturing as His children. Our own personal walk with the Lord sweetens our marriage.
We met while in Bible school, and we are now nearly married for 24 years! We have done everything together - we are partners in ministry, co-pastored together, co parents, basically done everything together except I have to say that I gave birth to our girls ALL BY MYSELF :) You can imagine that we can only do that and remain sane if we not only love each other but also LIKES each other. To this date, we are still our favorite person to each other. That's quite a statement considering we are with each other nearly 24 hours a day for the last nearly 24 years....
Marriage is pretty serious business, especially that of a minister of the gospel. When a pastor's marriage fails it affects so many people including the pre-believing community. At the same time, a good godly marriage can also be such a bright light in our day of divorces, betrayals and infidelities. A good Christian marriage can shine so brightly for our Lord these days.
Even though marriage is pretty serious, one of the best ways to strengthen it is by having fun - LOADS of fun. We are not too "spiritual" to prank each other or just plain having fun. One of the things that we enjoy most is being co- conspirators in pranking our kids! April fool is a pretty big deal in our marriage....I think if a husband and wife learn to play with each other and see other as best friends, many marriages could have done better. We always find time for fun no matter how busy our lives get. This was especially important for us when ministry is difficult and challenging, often times discouraging. Our ability to enjoy each other and having fun times in the "not so fun" moments drew us even closer together
I don't know about other women, but I enjoy flowers. Our years in beautiful Nairobi has spoilt me for choice - flowers were affordable and so so beautiful. I remembered one anniversary, Tony literally filled the house with flowers - hundreds of them, He had gone to the wholesaler in Nairobi and gotten them for me. It was such a wonderful surprise for me and gave him major brownie points.
I think it's important to keep the loving gestures "alive". Flowers, coffee, dates, a quick kiss, holding hands, etc...all these add up...
One of the greatest blessings in our lives are our two precious gifts from God - Kathryn and Vickie. Parenting is a tremendous privilege and parenting them together has definitely bound us together in a special way. I am so grateful that Tony is always present in our children's lives. He did not leave it to me to raise them by myself. I find this the case more often that it should be - the absentee father. Raising our children together made us a better team in all other areas. Our girls are our biggest and most important responsibility, our grandest assignment from God. What a blessing that we get to be on the same team on this project together! Our girls are a big GLUE in our marriage. They seeped into every part of "us" and as a result bind us together in ways that we didn't know possible. Encouragement to all husbands out there, be the father God called you to be and you will find so many unexpected blessings - including an even stronger marriage!
I think I will end here but have a feeling more on this subject may come up again....please feel free to comment below if you like to hear more on this or if you have any questions. I am passionate about growing and encouraging passionate godly marriages! I am for you!
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