Since we got back to Nairobi, we are slowly getting back to the routine of school, church, university, ministry and life in general. Tony is scheduling the different invitations he has received since our return and will be busy preaching again. He is also working on the chapel services on Tuesdays and Thursdays and Staff Lunch Hour fellowships on Fridays. He is also mentoring several pastors. As for me, I have resumed some of my counselling cases and taken on a few new ones and working on the Ladies Fellowship and the Couples Fellowship on campus. I am also helping out with a local church in their administration to help firm somethings up. It's a growing church and I think if we tighten the nuts and bolts, the church will really take off. I am excited to be part of that but that will also involve many hours of some tedious work.
Ok..I titled today post as "counselling" because I want to shed some light on what I do as a counsellor. There are so many misconceptions that comes with the term "counselling" - some see it as a chit chat session or worse, a gossip session; others see it as a stigma - "only basket cases need counselling" and yet others think that it's a female thing! :-) We often see on tv, the client on the infamous couch mumbling to a therapist and qualifies that as counselling. Here in Africa, there is still quite a bit of stigma attached to counsellng. I remembered when we were pastoring, couples who were seeking counsel requests that I meet with them outside the church office. They do not want to be seen or "everyone" will think that they are getting a divorce or someone is unfaithful, etc. Anyways, I wanted to shed some light on how I do my counselling and maybe demystify the process for some!
When a client (could be a pastor, student, child, staff, etc) first see me, we explore in the first session what the situation is and determine what the goal is of our time together. We do more background/history taking stuff in the first session. We would then decide on the goal(s) - the client has to come up with this while I help him/her explore. Most of us have a hard time knowing what we really want...it's true! The goal(s) could be better communication in marriage, or to fight less, or learning to live with HIV in a positive way, coping after a divorce, forgivenss after betrayal, etc. I usually suggest that we meet once a week for an hour for 4-6 weeks and sometimes 8 weeks. We work progressively towards the goal(s) we have set for our sessions.
As you can tell there is nothing "chatty" or "gossipy" about these sessions. Often the sessions are very intense - you can imagine it's not easy to confront our own struggles and pain, etc. It takes a lot of work between the client and me to help them work out their situations. Between clients, I find myself learning and researching (on the internet mostly) on specifics challenges, etc and sometimes I refer to books that I have collected over the years. I pray for my clients often and they are usually not far from my thoughts. I take my ministry seriously, I really do.
I started counselling when we started ROG in 1999. Since then, I have seen how people can be helped through our time spent together. However, for the counselling sessions to be beneficial and effective, I have to work hard but not as hard as my clients :-) They are the ones who are working out their issues and I do what I can to help them succeed. Change is very difficult and I respect the hardwork my clients put in to get their life, marriage, or relationships in order.
It also takes a lot out of me to listen (the main role of the counsellor!) - I am listening to what is said, what is not being said, the body language and also discernment in my spirit. It is very demanding! Just think about doing that several hours everyday!?!
I don't think counselling is my most natural gifting but I kinda got thrown into the deep end when we started the church almost ten years ago. However through many years of learning, reseaching, actual counselling, many mistakes, consultation with other counsellors and learning from them, help from the Holy Spirit and a deep desire to help people, I have learn quite a lot from counselling.
So, what do you think of counsellng? I must add that it is also hugely rewarding when you see transformed lives....so, counselling...any volunteers??? Care to share your thoughts?
Ok..I titled today post as "counselling" because I want to shed some light on what I do as a counsellor. There are so many misconceptions that comes with the term "counselling" - some see it as a chit chat session or worse, a gossip session; others see it as a stigma - "only basket cases need counselling" and yet others think that it's a female thing! :-) We often see on tv, the client on the infamous couch mumbling to a therapist and qualifies that as counselling. Here in Africa, there is still quite a bit of stigma attached to counsellng. I remembered when we were pastoring, couples who were seeking counsel requests that I meet with them outside the church office. They do not want to be seen or "everyone" will think that they are getting a divorce or someone is unfaithful, etc. Anyways, I wanted to shed some light on how I do my counselling and maybe demystify the process for some!
When a client (could be a pastor, student, child, staff, etc) first see me, we explore in the first session what the situation is and determine what the goal is of our time together. We do more background/history taking stuff in the first session. We would then decide on the goal(s) - the client has to come up with this while I help him/her explore. Most of us have a hard time knowing what we really want...it's true! The goal(s) could be better communication in marriage, or to fight less, or learning to live with HIV in a positive way, coping after a divorce, forgivenss after betrayal, etc. I usually suggest that we meet once a week for an hour for 4-6 weeks and sometimes 8 weeks. We work progressively towards the goal(s) we have set for our sessions.
As you can tell there is nothing "chatty" or "gossipy" about these sessions. Often the sessions are very intense - you can imagine it's not easy to confront our own struggles and pain, etc. It takes a lot of work between the client and me to help them work out their situations. Between clients, I find myself learning and researching (on the internet mostly) on specifics challenges, etc and sometimes I refer to books that I have collected over the years. I pray for my clients often and they are usually not far from my thoughts. I take my ministry seriously, I really do.
I started counselling when we started ROG in 1999. Since then, I have seen how people can be helped through our time spent together. However, for the counselling sessions to be beneficial and effective, I have to work hard but not as hard as my clients :-) They are the ones who are working out their issues and I do what I can to help them succeed. Change is very difficult and I respect the hardwork my clients put in to get their life, marriage, or relationships in order.
It also takes a lot out of me to listen (the main role of the counsellor!) - I am listening to what is said, what is not being said, the body language and also discernment in my spirit. It is very demanding! Just think about doing that several hours everyday!?!
I don't think counselling is my most natural gifting but I kinda got thrown into the deep end when we started the church almost ten years ago. However through many years of learning, reseaching, actual counselling, many mistakes, consultation with other counsellors and learning from them, help from the Holy Spirit and a deep desire to help people, I have learn quite a lot from counselling.
So, what do you think of counsellng? I must add that it is also hugely rewarding when you see transformed lives....so, counselling...any volunteers??? Care to share your thoughts?
Comments